Worst Jokes Ever
When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"
Chuck Norris catches Pokémon with his bare hands.
Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandma's dead.
Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.
1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?
The first is easier to bury.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink.
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
Hi. I am Joe.
I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world." Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)
My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.
Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.
Boy: Okay, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Brick.
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
Yo mama so FAT, she can't handle files bigger than 4 GB.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.
The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."
Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."
Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack had a shock and a mouth full of cock, and Jill's real name was Randy.
Spell Mississippi.
M-I-S-S-I-P-P~
Haha you said pp.