Worst Jokes Ever
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
What's black and white and red all over?
A police brutality case.
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
Have you seen the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
Sea if these nuts fit on yo mouth.
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
8008135 is my favorite number.
The worst ratio is 6:9.
And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.
There's 3 things I hate.
1. Jokes
2. Lists
3. Irony.
My uncle got sued from NASA the other day. He claimed to be the first one to enter Uranus.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Well, neither did she!
Joke: Why did the gym close down?
– It just didn’t work out.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."