Worst Jokes Ever
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
The whole solar system is one big family, right? But everyone circles the sun.
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
Q: Have you ever felt a window?
A: Did you feel the pane?
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? -- "Curses! Foil again!"
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
What did Cinderella do when she got the ball?
She gagged and took it like a champ.
What's white and comes in little cans?
Michael Jackson.
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."