Worst Jokes Ever
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
I hope Stephen Hawking's an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-cart.
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.
I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
Why don’t orphans know how to use a phone?
Because they don’t know where home is.
I wanted another piece of pizza... but she said I could only have One Piece.
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)
One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
What is a ghost's favorite cake?
I scream cake!
What is the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked!
(demons in my head) I laugh to meet them...
Roses are red, fishers are fishing,
I really hope you’ll be reported missing.
My dad and I were fishing one day.
That’s where he met my stepmom.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!