Worst Jokes Ever
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.
What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.
What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."
What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."
Who did Michael Jackson want to be like? The man in the mirror.
Why did Michael Jackson allow little boys to sleep in his house? Because he's bad.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Draggin’.
Draggin’ who?
Draggin’ these balls around yo’ face.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)
What do you call an Indian lesbian?
Mingeeta.
What is the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked!
I wanted another piece of pizza... but she said I could only have One Piece.
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.