Worst Jokes Ever
I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not! He got nailed before he died.
What's the difference between baby Jesus and the baby I keep in my basement?
Baby Jesus died a virgin.
Where do sick boats go? The dock!
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
What is the hardest part of twerking?
Being black.
How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.
When I was a kid, I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
At least when I fucked it.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
Being raped until feminists are offended and butthurt.
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.
Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.
A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.
What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.