Worst Jokes Ever
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?
The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."
Why do French people like to eat snails so much?
They can't stand fast food.
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.
Why did the car key never fit in?
He was too door key.
What's 10 inches and makes women scream?
Cot death!
Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?
Timmy is dead.
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?
"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
Do you know why you should never let a blonde handle grenades?
They'll end up only throwing the pin.
Cashier: "Will you want the milk in a bag today, sir?"
Customer: "I’ll just keep it in the carton if you don’t mind."
Where do bunnies go when they're sick?
The hoppital.
I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.
Did you know that French fries aren't from France? They're cooked in Greece.
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."