Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.

Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!

What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?

They both like lil' boys.

You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?

Get a calculator.

Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.

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    • Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

    So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

    I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

    The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"

    He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

    I said, "Your parents, buddy."

    How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?

    When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.

    My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."

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