Worst Jokes Ever
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both shove their meat between 10-year-old buns.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
Trump, must I say more?
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
So, a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital, and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on.
Doctor: "So, your wife, she is paralyzed from the neck down."
And as the doctor goes on, he says all the things the man must do for her, like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says, "Why, WHY ME!"
Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the man's ear and says, "I'm just fuckin' with you, she's DEAD!"
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
Cancer is like a video game.
Some people cannot beat it.
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
What do you call a Mexican that smokes weed? A baked bean.
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
What's the best thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
Stephen Hawking is not dead; he just needs to charge.
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.
These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.
Boy: Spell ME.
Girl: M-E.
Boy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There is no D in ME.
Boy: Not yet.
Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?
Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.