Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
Q: What's a German's favorite Undertale character?
A: Gaster.
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
One at the bottom that's still alive.
What's worse than that?
It's forced to eat its way out.
What's even worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch the expression on their face.
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
I like my girls like I like my wine.
12 years old and locked in my basement.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
Incest is wincest. (That was above.)
Fun for the whole family!
Next of kin, count me in!
What is a threesome with 3 guys?
Gay sex and a witness.
I got udder jokes too.
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
What do you call 2 spies fucking?
Undercover.
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...