Worst Jokes Ever
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
Fennec users lmao.
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.
Do you want to buy my Hoover?
I mean... it's just collecting dust.
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory!
How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!
Can a box match? No, but a tin can.
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Ni-tro-gen!
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
What was Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.
The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"
The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
Boy Scout...
- A kid who dressed like an idiot.
- An idiot who dressed like a kid.
What does the policeman say to the jumper?
"Hey! Pullover!"
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"