Worst Jokes Ever
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."
Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."
So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"
The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"
The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
It says enter a joke, but I can't enter my life.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
What did Cermet the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing...
There were three guys stranded on a desert island. Each was granted one wish by a genie that found them. The first guy said, "I wish to go back home." The second guy says the same, and the third guy said, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
How many babies does it take to light up a basement?
I don't know, my basement is still dark.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
Cleveland Browns
What do lesbian vampires say after sex?
"See you next month."
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
Yo mama is so skinny, she uses floss as toilet paper.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone!
Your momma is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches the couch.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: “Fuck off, you won’t bring it back.”
What do you call all down syndromes?
Twins.
When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"