Worst Jokes Ever
I started crying when my dad was chopping onions.
Onions was such a good dog!
Roses are red, violets are blue.
YOU HAVE AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WAITING FOR YOU...
"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalffeinated.
What does Drake call his rake?
Da-Rake.
Why don't you fart in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have any Windows.
How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?
You turn off the WiFi router.
So, a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "Alright, so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "Okay, here you go." So he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink.
What does a transgender call his/her parent?
Transparent.
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
Your mama is so short, she does backflips under her bed.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
Why does the sky think it's so powerful?
Because it's always looking down on us.
Man, I love this joke: Women's rights.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in a different box.
I was walking by the gun shop earlier and saw everything was 40% off. I didn't know back to school sales were already starting.
Is it incest if it’s out in the open?
Or is it... outcest?
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games.
Suddenly, they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running. The other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?"
The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.