Worst Jokes Ever
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
One day a man was fixing a car, and he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "Hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like, "Dude, this can't be healthy." But he said, "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck if my computer crashes.
What's the difference between cake and pie?
πr2, cakes are round.
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist.
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!
Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.
I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.
Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."
Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister." Daughter: "I don't have a..."
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?
Calculator!
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
bradley
Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs?
Where you left it.
What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
Why did the orphan become a killer?
Because he knew they would not look for him.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
Why is the Titanic good at baseball? Because it sinks it.