Worst Jokes Ever
What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
Why was the emo kid thrown out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
"You're an orphan forever," - Harry Potter.
The S in America stands for safe.
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
Withered Bonnie, more like Bonnie Mcnutt!
What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."
What's an orphan's favorite song?
"Gimme Shelter."
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
Why am I still alive?
Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...
Joe mama so fat, hello kitty said goodbye.