Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
If a deaf person is at court, then is it still called a hearing?
I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
What do you call an owl with armor?
A Knight Owl!
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
It was dinner in the plane, and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.
"What are my choices?" the passenger said.
"Yes or no," the flight attendant replied.
Stephen Hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery.
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
How do you fit a baby in a bowl? ... A blender... and how do you get it out?
Tortilla chips.
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
What's a Latino's favorite sport? Lacrosse.
My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.
I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”
Where does a crayon go on vacation? To color-ado.
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
Easy! Peasy! Lemon Squeezy! 🍋😂
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."