Worst Jokes Ever
Two girls have a sleepover.
Karen: Let's go to bed.
Lauren: Fine, but it's early.
*Karen wakes up and exits room*
*Lauren hears noise*
Mikey: You're so much better than my girlfriend, Karen.
Lauren: *laughs*
Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother, Mikey*
This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.
Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
What do you call the girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
Why did the feminist kill herself?
Because she was TRIGGERED.
Man: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.
Lady: What did you do?
Man: I took a day off...
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
I hate snow. It's white and on my land.
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.
I met a rock the other day. He was a very gneiss guy.
I'm not gay, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
Why was the sun ☀️ mad at the clouds ☁️?
Because the clouds kept throwing shade.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Argon.
All zodiac signs have their hairstyles. Except cancer.
Me: What did one toilet say to the other?
You: What?
Me: You look flushed!
What games would deaf people not be good at?
Simon says and Musical chairs.