Worst Jokes Ever

What is big and bouncy and walks on stilts?

Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.

When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said, "Okay class, what's behind my back?" She said, "It's round and red," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's an apple!" And the teacher said, "No, but I like where you're going with this." So now the teacher said, "It is also used to make multiple things," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's a container of paint!" And the teacher said, "Again, no, but I like where you're going with this." And the teacher said, "It's a ball of yarn," as she pulled it out from behind her back. Then Little Johnny said, "Okay, my turn." He said, "What's in my pocket? It's round and it has a head." And the teacher said, "That's enough, Johnny, now sit down." And Little Johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said, "It's a nickel, but I like where you're going with this."

What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."

What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?

Predator 2.

What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?

A high school pill party.

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )

Why do they call my dick section 8?

Because all the hoes are on it.

I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.

What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?

The vegetable gets picked.

As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"

What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?

Nothing.

What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?

Tiger Woods had a good driver.

When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?

What type of car did Hitler drive? A gas-guzzler.

My life is so sad it's because you're in it.

What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?

A stroke of luck :)

Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.