Worst Jokes Ever
Well, you know what they say about cliffhangers...
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
I always keep anti-fungal spray with me... because I don't want to share my girlfriend with anyone.
My dad and I were fishing one day.
That’s where he met my stepmom.
What is a ghost's favorite cake?
I scream cake!
What is the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked!
(demons in my head) I laugh to meet them...
I wanted another piece of pizza... but she said I could only have One Piece.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)
One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
When rejected:
That's ok, the 3 other little pigs said no, too.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
Why don’t orphans know how to use a phone?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."
Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
What's an orphan's favorite song?
"Gimme Shelter."
The US Navy Atlantic Fleet is closing in on the North American shores. Suddenly a blip on the radar appears and the radio starts crackling:
"Hello, please divert to 5° East to avoid collision. Thank you."
The commander starts answering:
"No, you divert 5° West to avoid collision. Over!"
"Sorry, sir, you are the one who should divert to 5° East! Over!"
"Listen to me, you asshole! We are the USS Washington, and we have an entire fleet at our disposal, and be sure we'll use all means necessary to keep ourselves safe!"
After a moment of silence, the radio crackled again:
"In case you still haven't figured out, we can't move BECAUSE THIS IS A LIGHTHOUSE!"
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.