Worst Jokes Ever
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.
What do you call a blind German? A Nazi (Not-see)!
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?
“Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”
Bin Laden promised 76 virgins to Al-Qaeda.
Instead, there was one 76-year-old virgin.
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."
School reminds me of a penis. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.
My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater.
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
Me running after slapping the emo kid's wrist and saying, "I like ya cut g."
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.