Worst Jokes Ever
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?
Palpatine: Screw it.
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
What do you call a bee’s love?
Honey.
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.
Wanna hear a joke?
Feminism.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.
Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."
Father: "Sorry."
Depression, I got it.
A girlfriend, don't got it.
A life, don't got it.
Help, got it.
Friends, don't got it.
Family, I got it.
Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!
Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.
Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
What's the best part of having sex on a golf course?
The hole experience.