Worst Jokes Ever
Why can’t pedophiles ever win races? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
What do you call the girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."
Why did the feminist kill herself?
Because she was TRIGGERED.
Man: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.
Lady: What did you do?
Man: I took a day off...
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
I'm not gay, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars.
I met a rock the other day. He was a very gneiss guy.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
Why was the sun ☀️ mad at the clouds ☁️?
Because the clouds kept throwing shade.
What was the last thing going through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
All zodiac signs have their hairstyles. Except cancer.
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Argon.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up.
If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?