Worst Jokes Ever

Twin Towers? No Jenga!

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.

Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.

All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.

I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.

I was on an orphan's website, but I pressed on his profile and realized he had no home page.

Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.

I rate you a 9/11.

How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because there would be no home base.

What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?

I can't jump off a burrito.

Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...

Then IT hit me.

Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents, buddy."

It was just a prank, and stop calling our humor "plane." In our opinion, it's fire.

I hope Stephen Hawking's an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-cart.

How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?

When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.

What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?

They wait to be filled with a big load.