Worst Jokes Ever
A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.
After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.
"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.
"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.
The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.
"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.
"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.
"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.
"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
Science can fly you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
What are three things you can't give a black guy?
A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
Person: I broke my arm in three places.
Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.
I fell down the stairs once.
What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?
"Stop it! It hertz so much!"
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
Wanna hear a joke?
Feminism.
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?
The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.
Any joke that I make about 9/11 has a tendency to crash and burn.
If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?
The dark.
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.