Worst Jokes Ever
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
I: "Get a boomerang."
Type: "Why?"
Me: "Because for frisbee, you need friends."
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
Any joke that I make about 9/11 has a tendency to crash and burn.
I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk. (Goes to the store, grabs milk.) As I grab the milk, I thought, "Hey, I bet I can repeat her life twice."
Why can't orphans go to Home Depot?
Because they do not have a home!
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. Why? I don't know Y.
What is a briefcase?
A short lawsuit.
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
Why can't orphans have babies?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said, "Okay class, what's behind my back?" She said, "It's round and red," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's an apple!" And the teacher said, "No, but I like where you're going with this." So now the teacher said, "It is also used to make multiple things," and Sally said, "Ooh, ooh, it's a container of paint!" And the teacher said, "Again, no, but I like where you're going with this." And the teacher said, "It's a ball of yarn," as she pulled it out from behind her back. Then Little Johnny said, "Okay, my turn." He said, "What's in my pocket? It's round and it has a head." And the teacher said, "That's enough, Johnny, now sit down." And Little Johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said, "It's a nickel, but I like where you're going with this."
Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )
How to make an orphan's hands hurt: Make them clap their hands till their parents come back.