Worst Jokes Ever
What did the salad say to pineapple?
"Lettuce be friends."
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck if my computer crashes.
What's the difference between cake and pie?
πr2, cakes are round.
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!
Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist.
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."
I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.
Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister." Daughter: "I don't have a..."
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs?
Where you left it.
bradley
What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?
Calculator!
What was the last thing going through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.