Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
Q. What does Kenny get when he hugs his mom?
A. A boner.
Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you never turn your back on family.
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a carrier bag? One is plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other is a carrier bag.
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
Where in hell is Lee Harvey Oswald now when we need him?
My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
Cindy goes up to her dad and says: "Daddy, can I have $100 for a new dress?"
Her dad almost gags and says: "$100! You're only 12, what do you want with such an expensive dress?"
Cindy says: "Well daddy, I'll look really pretty in it and I promise to look after it ..."
Dad gives in and says: "OK, give me a head-job then".
He flops it out and Cindy just get the end in her mouth and goes: "Eeee-yooo - that taste's like shit!"
Dad goes: "Well, your brother wanted to borrow the car this afternoon ..."
A man gets an email from his doctor.
"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tomorrow."
The man thinks to himself, "Oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"
What's got 6 legs, 3 arms, and 3 heads?
The finish line at the Boston marathon.
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost Wi-Fi connection.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.