Worst Jokes Ever
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
What do you call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7?
A: A virgin.
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.
My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.
It's funny that everyone is depressed, like, I mean:
Bullys are depressed.
Nerds are depressed.
Bad girls/boys are depressed.
Kind humans are depressed.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Microchips.
Yo mama so fat, she wears Orion's belt!
What's the hardest part of riding a scooter?
Telling your parents you are gay.
Many years of sex in the dark.
The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"
The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"
"'There is no God.' - Stephen Hawking (2011)
'There is no Stephen Hawking.' - God (2018)"
Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
You'll end up DEAD if you don't stop COFFIN!!!
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
What does a cow watch?
MooTube.
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didn’t have benign intentions.
Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.