Worst Jokes Ever
I like my cigars like I like my women: 7 years old and in a burlap sack from Cuba.
Ok, not really racist but still funny.
What is Stephen Hawking best at in basketball?
dribbling.
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
De-calf-inated.
Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
How did the computer get out of the house?
He used windows.
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
Why did the farmer name his pig Ink?
Because he kept on running out of the pen.
Say this out loud: Alpha Kenny One.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...
The steaks were pretty high.
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
One man's trash is another man's treasure.
Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you were adopted.
Women should be allowed to leave the kitchen... to clean the rest of the house.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
I'm better than you in every single way... I even have an extra chromosome.