Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
Yo mama so stupid, she said, "Where are my gifts?" on Father's Day.
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
Easy! Peasy! Lemon Squeezy! 🍋😂
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
Sign outside a hair salon: "We'll color your hair or dye trying."
Where does a crayon go on vacation? To color-ado.
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
What is the only warm organ in a dead woman?
My dick!
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.
There is a feminist group in my town.
It is called Gal-Qaeda.
(I actually got this from The Simpsons, so credit to the show.)
What's the best thing about midgets??
They don't need to bend while giving blowjobs.
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
When you’re fucking your boss and realize it’s a family business.
What is worse than 16 babies in 16 dumpsters? One baby in 16 dumpsters.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
Why was the staircase so sad?
Because everyone walks on them.