Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a bee’s love?
Honey.
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.
Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?
Palpatine: Screw it.
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let’s make this interesting."
So we stopped playing chess.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."
Father: "Sorry."
Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.
It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
Depression, I got it.
A girlfriend, don't got it.
A life, don't got it.
Help, got it.
Friends, don't got it.
Family, I got it.
Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!
Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."
Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead and so are you.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.