Worst Jokes Ever
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones.
A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn’t drive for shit.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."
So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?
Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.
Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.
What bird doesn’t need a comb?
Bald eagles.
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.
Why wasn’t the moon hungry?
Because it was full!
What animal is good at baseball?
A bat!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you ♥️.