Worst Jokes Ever

I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD, and it diagnosed me with slavery.

Ariana Grande had 7 husbands, so she had 7 rings.

What is the difference between a baby and a baked potato?

140 calories.

My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.

Your hairline is so far back that your dad still can't find his way back home.

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"

The bartender replied: "A shotgun."

Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.

Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.

Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"

If the minions serve whoever is the biggest bad, then who did they serve 1930-1945?

I like my women like I like my wine. 16 years old and locked in a basement.

Bad jokes are like the planes in 9/11, they don't land.

I once fought with a man in a wheelchair.

He couldn't stand a chance.

I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!

What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?

One gets picked.

What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."

What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?

"Drop it, Jamal!"

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?

A. The anti-Family Guy episode.

If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?

The dark.

Why did Mary have a little lamb? Because a big one was too much in bed.