Worst Jokes Ever
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?
Leather armor is made of hide.
What's Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
Why did the orange go blind? Because he was low on vitamin C.
Did you hear about the deaf man who got a ticket?
It's OK, he didn't either!
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"
I told her my mum told me to go to hell.
what's black and red and is a liquid?
my scars!
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
Yo mama's so old, when she was a girl, rainbows were black and white.
So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan.
When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.
"Wait a minute," I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen.
Then it clicked.
"Ah, so that's how you died."
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
School and Boot Camp are a lot alike. The only difference is that in school, you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.