Worst Jokes Ever

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"

The bartender replied: "A shotgun."

Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.

If the minions serve whoever is the biggest bad, then who did they serve 1930-1945?

I like my women like I like my wine. 16 years old and locked in a basement.

Bad jokes are like the planes in 9/11, they don't land.

I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!

What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?

One gets picked.

What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."

What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?

"Drop it, Jamal!"

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?

A. The anti-Family Guy episode.

If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?

The dark.

Why did Mary have a little lamb? Because a big one was too much in bed.

Two wind turbines were standing on a hill.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other one says, "I'm a big metal fan."

Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

What are the two hottest cities in the world? Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

What is happening? Which is better: being loved or being hated? State your answer.

What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?

You get PRICKrolled.

How do you spell ihop?

Then spell ihop and say "ness".

Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."