Worst Jokes Ever
What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?
A pool table.
"Guess how I got to Germany so fast?"
"Because I was Russian!"
Rape jokes are the funniest thing to ever exist.
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? "Beehive yourselves!"
Chuck Norris once ran all the way around the equator and kicked himself in the back.
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!
Why is a sick person and California similar? They tend to burn up.
A Karen is so stupid, she can't even cross the hairline!
You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America's Funniest Home Videos.
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.
What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!
Me and my stepmom went into the forest.
I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.
My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"
What do you call a cow that's beating his meat? Beef stroganoff!
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.
Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
Get up, you lazybones!
"Déjà moo": The feeling that you've heard this bull before.