Worst Jokes Ever
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
What is a gay person’s favourite meal?
Willy con carne.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are actually picked.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
So here's the joke. A bear walks into a bar and sits down and then....then..........then................................zzzz
Smash or pass?
"Smash," said the iceberg.
TItanic:...
Alabama.
Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."
The depressed kid at school tried giving the tree a high five.
It left him hanging.
My hair strainer is hotter than you.
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
Sometimes, stairs get me down.
I fell down the stairs once.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
Why didn’t the bike stand on its own?
It was too tired.