Worst Jokes Ever

Spongebob is yellow, and he can't drive.

Must be Asian.

What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.

What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!

Where do rabbits eat breakfast?

IHOP.

What’s the difference between a bird and a human?

“We don’t eat with our peckers.”

What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.

Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street."

So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

How does NASA organize their parties? They planet.

I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.

What's better than roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.

Happiness.

Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.

What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?

"Juan Direction."

The "W" in African stands for water.

My Llama's cousin sucks at going on vacation.

He just stands there; "I'll pack uhhhh...."

On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.

What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?

I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.

So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.