Worst Jokes Ever
Incest.
When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife get annoyed with him?
He had an affair with Alexa.
What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?
You can't beat a cheetah!
Why did the Columbine High School basketball team lose the big game?
Because they lost their two best shooters...
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
Where did Noah keep his bees? -- In the ark hives.
What do you call a rich white man? Cracker with Cheese!
A starving homeless kid asks me for food.
I said, "sorry, my plate is full."
Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."
Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.