Worst Jokes Ever
What is Osama bin Laden's favorite football team?
The New York Jets.
So, if the reason people used to hang women was because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung, would they be called wizards?
An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: "You mathematicians don't know your limits."
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
Life would be so much easier if grass was emo.
Because it would cut itself.
I love Muslims, they are great at parties!
They have the best fireworks.
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee.
A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after a while and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in."
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
A funny joke scenario.
Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
CURRY in a hurry.
A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion.
After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma.
After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies. Did I mention he was suicidal?
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.