Worst Jokes Ever
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
Your family tree looks like a circle 💀💀💀
What do you call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut.
What category of music did JFK like?
You could say he was a metalhead.
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
My girlfriend's last words:
"I can’t wait to become a mom!"
When was the first Black Friday?
1619.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
What's black and white and red all over?
A massacre at a funeral.
Johnny was watching TV when he heard them say "bitch" and "bastard," so he asked his dad, "What is a bitch and bastard?"
Dad said, "A bitch is a female, and a bastard is a male."
Then Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "ass" and "shit," so he asks his dad what "shit" and "ass" means. Dad says, "A shit is shaving cream, like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat. Why don't you bug your mom?"
So Johnny goes back to the TV, and then they say "fuck," so Johnny asks his mom what "fuck" means. Mom says, "Fuck means carving, like doing to the turkey." Then a few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door, so he answers it. He then says, "Welcome, bitch and bastard, may I tack your ass?" The people then ask where his parents are. Johnny says, "My dad is putting shit on his face, and my mom is fucking the turkey."
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.
I knocked on Stephen Hawking's door, but nobody answered...
All I got was "error 404 page not found."
How did the necrophiliac get caught?
Some rotten cunt split on him....
My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.