Worst Jokes Ever
My sister's pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad!
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
Wow! That whiteboard is remarkable!
What do you call a ghost's fart?
A spirit bomb.
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
How do you get more presents from Santa? You tickle his sack.
Oxygen and potassium went on a date. I heard it was OK.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!
Q: What's the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A: Stoners have papers.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile, but what does she know? She's 7.
- Mommy, what will I be when I'm grown up?
- Shut up, Sam, you've got cancer!
Jeffrey Dahmer was eating at 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
Yo mama is so fat, she takes her selfies in panoramic mode.
I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."
How do you make holy water?
You take normal water and boil the hell out of it.
My family is like treasure. I need a map and shovel to find them.