Worst Jokes Ever
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
When earthquakes hit, coffins become maracas underground.
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
Yo mama so poor she walked into an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?
Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.
6:30 has to be the best time, hands down.
So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."
I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.
Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
Can February march? -- No, but April may.
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c*** because Jill's real name is Randy.
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your mom.
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
I like my women how I like my wine.
14 years aged and locked in a cellar.
Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were on a falling airplane. There were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world,” so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually there are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”