Worst Jokes Ever
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.
Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.
Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.
American ran to dive, slipped, and said, "oh shit."
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."
What does BLM stand for?
Bisexual Lives Matter.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
If Uranus is so gross, why do they take HD photos of it?
How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?
You wave at him.
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.
Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
My dad is like my virginity. I lost him at 12.