Worst Jokes Ever
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
He hated the Poles.
Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel its skin off.
Can't wait to meet you!
So join the Depression family!
We open real soon!
Try best to hold onto sanity!
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play ping pong or table tennis? He likes to play with the little balls.
Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.
Student: OOFT.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
Technoblade be doing skyblock in heaven now.
My favorite sex position is ‘WOW.’ It's where I flip your mom upside down.
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? Flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.
Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C#.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
After 40 years, Kobe finally learned to pass.