Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."

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  • A wife was cleaning her 12-year-old son’s bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked her husband, “What do we do?”

    The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”

    My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.

    “See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”

    I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.

    Found out I’m worth $3.97.

    My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.

    A normal kid brings an MP3 to school.

    A rich kid brings an MP4 to school.

    A quiet kid brings an MP5.

    What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?

    She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.

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  • What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.

    A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"

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  • I started selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.

    Prophets are through the roof!