Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
Worst Jokes Ever
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
Titanic, doing the polar plunge before it was cool.
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.
1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.
What you breathe in is called oxygen, otherwise known as, "African food".
"Your ass must be jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth."
"I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He later told me it was the most violent book he'd ever read."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.
Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.
Yah, hurtful towards you. Bro took it personally, literally.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
What is an epileptic's least favorite superhero? The Flash.
Yo hairline is so crooked it makes your gay best friend look straight.
I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
What is an orphan's favorite song? "Lost Boy."
