Worst Jokes Ever
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play ping pong or table tennis? He likes to play with the little balls.
Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.
What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?
The thot that counts.
Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C#.
My favorite sex position is ‘WOW.’ It's where I flip your mom upside down.
Technoblade be doing skyblock in heaven now.
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
What's the difference between flat earthers and my grandfather? Flat earthers are more disconnected from reality than my grandfather is disconnected from his life support.
Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.
Men: "I like dogs."
Women: "I like cats."
Chinese: "Food is food."
After 40 years, Kobe finally learned to pass.
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
I got raped by my therapist... now I know where the name comes from!
This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭
Why can orphans not go on field trips? They need a parent signature.
What do you call a terrorist in a kids' swimming pool?
A bath bomb.