Worst Jokes Ever
What do lesbians do while having their period?
They finger paint.
What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
The Twin Towers are like Angry Birds in real life.
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?
Dream: Speedruns Minecraft.
Technoblade: Speedruns Life.
How do we know that the ocean is friendly? It waves.
What type of work can orphans do? Homework.
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.
Like if your dad is abusive.
My crush: "I cut 4 inches off my hair yesterday." Me: "So?" My crush: "4 inches is a lot!" Me: "Oh yeah?"
How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.
What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no balls to do it.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.