Worst Jokes Ever

Were you born on a highway? Because most accidents happen on the highway.

What's a rabbit's favorite song?

Hip hop.

As an Autist, I find these jokes really funny. Thanks for the early 13th birthday present, ya'll :>

My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"

Roses are red, my blood is too. I see a lot when I lost you.

A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.

I think she was pulling my leg.

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.

Billy: *spits out food*

Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.

Dad: *looks at mom*

Mom: Shut up.

If you get it, you get it.

I was making sandcastles with my Nan, then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.

What is an orphan's least favorite movie?

Spider-Man, because it told them there was no way home.

What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?

"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"

Why did the dog join the marching band?

Because he had his trum-bone.

What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?

They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.

I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

Why do women hate having sex with midgets?

Because of their shortcomings.

Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?

I made a website to adopt orphans. But there is no home page.

Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.

There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.

What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't hit a home run.