Worst Jokes Ever
How do you know you’re ugly?
If you always get handed the camera for group photos.
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.
If rape was about power, then my electric bill would be a positive balance.
I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking.
But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?
Your mama is so stupid, she bought tickets for Xbox Live.
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.
One hat told another hat to stay behind, and he will go on a-head.
Person: "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 50 seconds to live!"
Doctor: "Just give me a minute!"
Rizz,
Are you a biographer? Cause I picture us together.
Can I take a picture of you for I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
No pen, no paper, you still draw my attention.
You know what I hate about math? They always talk about x and y, but not about u and i.
Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.
Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
Q: What comes before 47?
A: AK
What do you find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower?
Heads and shoulders.
I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.
I now have $999,999.75.
My wife called me a pedophile. That is a big word for a 2 year old.
Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry.
Which way did the cow jump over the moon?
- The Milky Way!
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.