Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?
The first airplane.
A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Jim!"
I'll never forget my brother's last words: "Why is there a revolver in your hand?"
People are making end of the world jokes, like there's no tomorrow.
My father said I'm too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor.
I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
What do painters and prostitutes have in common?
They're both paid for a good finish.
How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.
How do you cut the sea in half?
With a sea-saw.
Why couldn't Helen Keller eat her Big Mac?
She was too busy trying to read the sesame seeds.
A cop pulled me over and shouted, "Papers!" I shouted, "Scissors!" and drove off.
What do planets like to read? Comet books!
A mom gave her son "the talk". Her son replies, "Wait, so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied."
If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?
Asking for a friend.