Worst Jokes Ever
When you send her a dick pic, but then she sends you one right back...
How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.
It's called "spastics on elastics."
Depression is like therapy; the more you see it, the more you get used to it.
I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"
Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀
I wish I could be as visible as my depression is.
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: I don't know anymore.
Father: "Son, you were adopted."
Son: "What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"
Father: "We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes."
1273. Depression got the best of me. I'm gonna cry in my room now.
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.
What's an emo's favorite Pink Floyd album?
The Final Cut.
Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?
It has better reflexes than the twin towers.
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"
Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?
Experience.
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
What do you call a man off the ground?
Hanged.
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
My mom told me it's not healthy to stay in my room all day... but the only places I'm allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.
It ain't always easy having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.