Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."
A kid walks in late to class. The teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." Another kid walks in late to class, and the teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." The last kid walks in and the teacher says, "Why are you late?...and why are you wet?" and the kid says back, "Remember, my name is Pebbles!!"
In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."
What's a Mexican's favorite video game?
Borderlands.
What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
What is an Emo’s favourite music element?
Self harmony.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.
Candy is dandy.
But liquor is quicker.
How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!
Roses are red, I don't know why, Living is hard, I want to die.
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
Condoms? HA! Those are for pussies!
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, “Hey mister, it’s getting really dark and I’m scared.” The man replies, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”
Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A “Lickalottapuss”.
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.