Worst Jokes Ever
A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn't go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.
After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, "How was this whole ordeal?" Viktor replied, "I've had better."
I gave an orphan an iPhone X for a reason.
It doesn’t have a home button.
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
Looking in the mirror, I don’t need a therapist, god damn, I wanna be a terrorist.
Why isn't the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."
big booty latinas.
Have you heard about the movie "Constipation"?
No, because it never came out...
The couple next door made a porn film.
They don’t know it yet.
Why did an orphan have s**? To have someone to call daddy.
Can I put my balls in your jaws?
What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?
Meals on wheels.
Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.
What's the difference between a porn star and a mosquito?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
What are Russia's favorite netball positions?
Goal Shooter and Wing Attack.
Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
A: Throw in some laundry.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma balls!
What color is your Bugatti?
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.
Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.