Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?

Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.

Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.

Where does the Batman go to pee?

The Batroom.

What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?

Filipino.

A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, "She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?" The wife replies, "Perform the fucking autopsy!"

Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.

Error code 404. "Will to live" not found.

Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working.

You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.

"Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death"?

Maybe in infidel America but.... it is #1 in the Glorious Iran.

🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷🇮🇷

1 like = 1 more child in my basement.

COVID-19 won't last long... it's made in China.

School shooting happens:

Foreign exchange student: Sobbing under desk.

American student: “First time?”

The student from Irak with an AK47: "RAtatata..."

I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.

I bought a book for my blind friend.

I'm going to pull out your lungs faster than Joe Biden pulled troops out of Afghanistan.

I was once friends with a schizophrenic emo. He tried high-fiving a tree, but it only left him hanging.

Yesterday, I saw a "woman's rights" book in the library, so I put it in the fiction section and got kicked out.

What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!

What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?

"Meals on Wheels."

A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"