Worst Jokes Ever

Yo mama so clumsy, she gave birth to you.

Long time since I made a joke, huh? I used a Time Machine to make this one.

I like my new... e-a-tree and a tree that is a magic house and a tree tree and a...

Borders are fat.

I don’t love being bored.

What did the cow say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?"

Papyrus: I hate you, Frisk.

Frisk: This is why Mettaton doesn't fucking love you.

Sans: Kid, I will kill you.

Papyrus: (Remembers something) That's why you don't have a lover, you lonely giraffe!

I'd say you were the spawn of Satan, but that would be an insult to Satan.

You guys are literally mentally ill. You should get some help. This is so disgusting, ew!

What is a tree that does not exist?

A money tree.

I went home one day, and three guys—a Spanish guy, a Chinese guy, and a white guy—told me, "You should be proud of your sister. She won a trophy about knowing her flavor of meats." Then my sister told me that I was blindfolded, and she gave all of them a blowjob, and I had to guess which flavor that I was sucking on. I was right all the time, and they gave me a trophy. The Trophy says "Blowjobs of the Flavors." As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.

"Ur Mater."

My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.

Why can’t orphans fly? Because they’re still winging it.

Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.

Orphan: But I don't have a mom!

Me: I call my girl Cinderella.

Friend: Why?

Me: Because she loves balls.

Why don't orphans like pizza? Because they don't have parents, that's why.

Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?

For the same reason a ship won't stay afloat with holes in the bottom.

I love you, Lovely Perv!

Me starts a cult just for fun... Just for fun!