Worst Jokes Ever
Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search,” as they would say.
By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving.
I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes.
During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean, and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up.
Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
What do Hitler and Trump have in common? They both do hand gestures.
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can’t defeat cancer!
What's worse than sticking 12 raw oysters up your grandma's pussy and sucking them out?
Sticking 12 raw oysters up there and sucking out 13.
You'd think the Catholic Church would be in favor of condoms... less DNA evidence.
My doctor called me a "psychopath." How dare he?!? He'll pay for this!
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse.
They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said, "Of corpse!"
Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldn’t figure out who.
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
The world is a freaking rape joke.
Q: What does Pakistan love to do with India when they go to war?
A: Surrender their 93,000 soldiers.
I spat on a blind kid and told him it was raining.
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
I wish my grass was edgy...
then it would cut itself...
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
Why can’t orphans play sports?
Because they don’t have a home team.