Worst Jokes Ever

Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well, I have! I was wrongfully accused of larceny yesterday. I'm not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.

Why does Blake like lakes? Because of cake!

Did you know that the "F" in orphan stands for family?

Son: Dad, I need a new butt.

Dad: Why, son?

Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.

Guys, if you saw a post from someone pretending to be me, don't listen to them.

I'm just going to be out for 3 days, or maybe for a month break. There are a lot of fakers.

Men and depression have something in common; they’re always talking.

What do you call a traffic light that tells you, "Don't look, I am changing!"

What do you call a Democrat that is a progressive?

A Democrat that lost in a presidential election.

What is another name 🤔 for Holy water 💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧 💧💧💧💧💧💧💧💧 🚽 toilet water.

I'm in school shooting. #USA

What do you call gay men receiving anonymous blowjobs at the glory holes inside an adult bookstore?

Norwegian massage.

Why did the wall fall over?

A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.

What did Shrek say to the princess? “I love walls!”

How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.

Cool, new word of the day: Marijuana.

“Does Marry wanna smoke a joint?”

If you need help, you will need trash, 'cause you the trash.

As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.

So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."

Yo mama's so fat, her pad is a king-size mattress.

The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."

Yo mama is so ugly that not even goldfish smile back at her.