Worst Jokes Ever
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
Roses are red, clovers are green.
I love your legs and what's in between. LOL
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
Are you the Twin Towers? Because you made my heart explode.
Your hairline goes farther back to Rosa Parks' seat.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.
What Lord of the Rings book is banned from the United States?
The Two Towers.
Q: What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
A: One of them gets picked.
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
OK, OK, eat your shirt.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
A cow with no front legs walking around?
Beef stroganoff.
I ought to complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.
What do you call a fly without wings? Dead.
I was checking my shoe in my dad's wallet, and he slapped me. What exactly did I do to warrant the slap?
Man: Hey Siri!
Siri: Yes?
Man: I'm desperate, will you marry me?
Siri: Uh...
*phone literally explodes*
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they don’t have anybody to call “daddy.”
Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?
Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!