Worst Jokes Ever
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has faster reflexes than the Twin Towers.
How do you keep a homophobic heterosexual man that is a minister and a Christian nationalist with blond hair in suspense?
Wait until Christmas to take away his church's tax-exempt status or he will call the ACLU.
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”
What do you get when you cross a lesbian that is a feminazi, a lesbian that is a progressive democrat, a promiscuous woman that is a lesbian prostitute working inside a lesbian brothel in San Francisco, California, and one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.
American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"
Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"
German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"
An orphan girl wanted a family so she was raped until pregnant. Problem solved.
"Just say no to drugs!"
Well, if I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.
One day in class, little Johnny was mucking around, not listening to the teacher. After 5 minutes, the teacher caught him, finished what she was saying, and said, "Little Johnny, if you weren’t listening, what was the last thing I said?" And little Johnny replied back, "You said, 'What was the last thing I said?'"
What shampoo does Stephen Hawkings use?
Head & Shoulders.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None. Feminists can't change anything.
Why do heterosexual men like to receive an anonymous blowjob at an adult bookstore? Because they don't want gay men and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out that they also like getting their cocks sucked by men, but they don't want gay and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true, and then the person is a victim for sure.
I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful.
There was always that one specific person you thought ruined your life, but it turns out your life has always been ruined by you being in it.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
Q: Why did the chef get fired?
A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.
I'm gonna jump to my death.
Don't worry. I won't jump far.
Just off this chair here...
Why do orphans play GTA? Because they want to feel wanted.
A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."