Worst Jokes Ever
Most people age up on their birthdays,
Stephen levels up.
Who gave Jesus his birthday presents every year?
Santa Claus!
Why can't blind people fish?
Because it was "see food."
What do you call your sister who only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
Setting: Funeral Home
Customer: Yes, I was considering what would be the best option for cheap cremation, but I feel that's silly to ask.
Funeral Director: Oh! We do have these nice urns over here at a discounted 75 percent off.
Customer: Okay? What's the catch? That's almost 300 dollars off?
Funeral Director: I assure you these are top-of-the-line urns and will keep your loved ones' remains secure and dry.
Customer: Okay?
Funeral Director: Yep, these have only been used once, so it is absolutely worth the purchase.
By: MiniMemorials.com
What do you call your sister if she only has one leg?
Ei-lean.
Your forehead [is] so big [that] every time you shout, your forehead starts pulsing.
My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!
What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?
Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
He’s not dead, just his storage unit.
Why did the chicken not cross the road?
Because it saw your face!
What time is it when you can drive home from phone?
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
What has 8 legs and 2 ears? A dog.
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.
Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.
That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?
A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.
Dear Hearing People,
We, deaf people, ain’t dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some 💡 awareness that we can understand you 💯 meanwhile we laugh at you 🤡 We can even dance via vibration through music.
Do you know the song w lyric like this 👇 *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. L👀k at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE 👻 I promise we ain’t ghosting around - Brittany Rose.