Worst Jokes Ever
Your mamma's so ugly, even the toaster wouldn't get in the bathtub with her.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
My friends: Ugh, why are you so lazy and no fun?
My parents: Why can't you be like your siblings?
My teacher: I don't care if you're depressed, focus on your study!
The songs: We understand you :)
Titanic was sinking.
Passenger: "How far are we from land?"
Captain: "Two miles."
Passenger: "Which direction?"
Captain: "Down."
I like my humor like my people. Well done.
How do emos compliment each other?
They say, "I like your cuts g."
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."
The room was full of arm amputees.
Did you hear about the bisexual from Alabama? He can't decide whether to fuck his brother or his sister.
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine.
What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He's a d!ck.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they eat the bat.
I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."
I went on a walk last night with a really hot girl. Then she noticed me, and we went for a run.
How does Moses prepare his tea? -- Hebrews it.
What is the richest planet?
Saturn 🪐- It has many rings.
What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
One's got hope in her soul, the other's got soap in her hole.
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.