Worst Jokes Ever
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.
So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."
A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
Answer: A bath bomb.
what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
a family photo.
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? - Everywhere.
What do KFC and pussy have in common?
Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"
Why can’t kids at an orphanage play hide and seek?
Because no one’s looking for them.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.
Why do orphans wanna be a criminal?
So that they can be wanted.
What goes Snap, Crackle, and Pop?
A neck.
Why did the fish cross the sea?
To get to the other tide! 😂 😂 😂
The difference between dark jokes and morbid is,
dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can, and
morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"