Worst Jokes Ever

Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.

It worked.

Stop making jokes about disabled people; they can’t stand up for themselves.

Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?

Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?

Son: Mom, what is money made of?

Mom: Paper.

Son: Where does paper come from?

Mom: . . .

Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"

Some trans "woman" came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender

What is a gay person's favorite book?

The dictionary.

How do you know America's bad at chess?

They lost 2 towers!

Why do Americans suck at chess?.......... They already lost two towers.

Where are the best shooting ranges in America?

Used to be in schools, but now in subways.

I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.

A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.

What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.

When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.

Who's the fastest reader?

Me, 'cause I'll be jumping off so many stories.

I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage.

What is an orphan's favorite event? Homecoming.

There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

All these jokes are plane wrong. My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.

I'd rate the food in Afghanistan a 9/11. That shit was bomb.