Worst Jokes Ever
There are three people on the steps of Heaven. God tells them all he is having a good day and if they make him laugh by telling him how they died, he will let them in.
The first one said, "I just finished a long day of work and I get home, and right as I stepped in, I knew my wife was cheating on me. I searched everywhere and I couldn’t find anybody, so I got a drink and went to the balcony, and then I saw him, hanging off the ledge of the balcony. I kicked his hands, but he wouldn’t fall, so I threw a Refrigerator at him, and I fell with the Refrigerator."
God busted out laughing and let him in.
The next person walked up and God told him the same thing he told the other person. God told him that he didn’t think that he could make him laugh more than the first person. The second guy said, "So get this, I’m a window washer on the 8th floor. I’m washing the windows like normal, and this enraged psychopath walks up and starts kicking my hands, and then he throws a refrigerator at me and I die."
God bursts out laughing so much to where he falls off his chair, and he lets the guy through. The next guy comes up and God tells him the same thing he told the last two people, and he tells him that there is no way that he can make him laugh more than the other two did. So he starts talking. "So get this, I’m in a refrigerator..."
So I told an orphan if her mom is hot, he wouldn't stop crying.
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
What did one butt say to the other?
Something brown is slithering down.
What were Steven Hawking’s last words?
ERROR 101.
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
Yo mom is so fat even Dora can explore you!
I wasn't looking at you, your big forehead was distracting me.
Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥
When do cows moo? Moosday.
Vaginas are like onions. They have lots of layers to get through.
"Proud boys" more like snitch boys!
Are you the sun? I can see you from a mile away.
How do you f**k a duck?
Usually duck a f**k.
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.
What type of cake can orphans not eat? Homemade.
Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't get even.
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
What time is it when you have a toothache?
2:30 (Tooth hurty).