Worst Jokes Ever

Your hairline goes so far back that it stretches the length of Ohio.

Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly woman?

The Twin Towers got fucked.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

When does the slowest person go as fast as a train?

When he is on the train.

So, I don't want anyone taking this the wrong way, people are free to be whatever they feel they are, and that's not anyone else's choice.

BUT!!!!!!

I personally have my own feelings on "churches and christianity". I feel that it is against The God Delusion and is an abomination to anyone who has half a braincell. I know plenty of Christian people, and I respect that! NO, REALLY, I DO. My best friend is a dumbass Christian just like you are, and I respect that's how she feels, and I'm glad that she made her choice. But I don't love it when people promote this stuff, because it is what the morons are tricking everyone into doing/being. Falling into the brainwashed act is NOT something you should ever want to do. As someone who has some intelligence, this is not okay in my sense.

As someone who isn't an Aussie, I note that Idfk what this is: "The people who defended Australia get 2 days, remembrance day and Anzac day + 1 minute of silence." BUT the christianism community gets YEARS IN THIS DUMB WORLD where they are told that they are 'special' and 'normal, like everyone else'. Which is really unfair and in a way, biased. I was only 7 when I recognized this just from being told at school by all the kids in my class that they are either CHRISTIAN or support it.

I know and understand I will get a lot of hate from this, I also don't give a shit, but please remember that it's just my thoughts and opinion. Thank you for reading. :)

Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

Because their dad never came back with milk.

The gayest person in the world is Pacman, because I can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*

Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!

A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.

A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"

The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.

How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?

Both of them.

Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.

Girlfriend's ex: Why?

Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.

I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.

Roses are red, violets are blue, When I take out the trash, I remember you.

So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.

You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?

You were hit by a shockwave!

Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...

It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.

Did you know the "w" in Africa stands for water?

The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.

He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.