Worst Jokes Ever
If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?
A really fucking huge cricket.
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.
You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?
You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.
What do you call a black man in the dark?
- Nothing.
Son: Dad, I'm gay.
Dad: I support you.
Son: I like you.
Dad: Get out and into my room!
My sister told me she liked Medusa.
I said, "Huh?"
My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White vans.
Q: Why can't orphans do homework? A: They don't have a home to do it at.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
The reason why orphans can't play baseball is because they can't find home.
Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?
So she can moan with her right hand.
Your hairline is so far back it took a trip to America.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they couldn't run home.
What's tree + tree?
Sticks! (Three + three = six)
I met a gay guy last night.
Man, was he a pain in the ass.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home base is.