All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why does Stephen Hawking need some screens?
He needs to win those Fortnite tournaments and get to Champions League.
I thank God that I'm not as ugly as you.
So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.
So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”
What do orphans eat for breakfast?
Daddy-O's.
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
The emo kid wanted a high five. I left him hanging, so did the tree.
What's the most difficult thing about being a pediatric surgeon?
Keeping the scalpel steady while masturbating.
Why did the knight cross the road?
He can't because his armor was too heavy.
Why can’t orphans go to McDonald’s? It’s a family company.
Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!
Bob Weir: Where are you going?
Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈
What's the difference between a woman and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
As I was eating this girl out, I thought I tasted some horse semen... I exclaimed, "Oh, Grandma! That's how you died!"
Why do orphans want to get married so bad?
To have someone to call "daddy."
That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice, but then you realize that you have headphones on.
John, I like your cut, G.
Sandwiches are yummy! 😋
What helped the Lakers win the Finals? Kobe's passing!
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
Why did the knights laugh when they run?
The grass tickled their balls. 😅😂🤣