Worst Jokes Ever
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
How do you tell if a blond is really stupid?
Put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod.
"Hee hee touch my pp."
Dark humor is like cancer, it's funnier when children get it.
Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
Why are the Twin Towers and after girls kill all boys similar?
There used to be two but now there's one...
Who is Joe?
You reply back: Who is Candice?
They reply back: Who is Candice?
You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."
One day my girlfriend and I were just hanging out and she needed to tell our dad that we were going out.
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
What did the French Fry 🍟 say to the Hamburger 🍔?
I guess that’s a wrap!
Welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make 'em, we take 'em!
Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...
Q. What is the most endangered creature in India?
A. The baby girl.
You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant!
What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?
Both stare off into space.
Unknown be like: "Wah wah, I'm too scared to talk to girls in real life, so I bully random tweens I find online to make me feel better... what a shame."
What do you call a Pakie with a wooden leg?
Shit on a stick.
Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?
We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.