Worst Jokes Ever
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both can't be found.
Dark humor is like cancer, it's funnier when children get it.
How do you tell if a blond is really stupid?
Put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod.
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
What did the French Fry 🍟 say to the Hamburger 🍔?
I guess that’s a wrap!
What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?
Batman has no one to call "daddy."
Who is Joe?
You reply back: Who is Candice?
They reply back: Who is Candice?
You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."
Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
Why are the Twin Towers and after girls kill all boys similar?
There used to be two but now there's one...
Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...
One day my girlfriend and I were just hanging out and she needed to tell our dad that we were going out.
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
Welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make 'em, we take 'em!
Q. What is the most endangered creature in India?
A. The baby girl.
You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant!
What does a person that’s high and Helen Keller have in common?
Both stare off into space.
Unknown be like: "Wah wah, I'm too scared to talk to girls in real life, so I bully random tweens I find online to make me feel better... what a shame."
What is the difference between the Titanic and the Twin Towers?
They both went down.
What do you call a Pakie with a wooden leg?
Shit on a stick.