About to go on a date.
But she was late.
So I got some tape.
And eventually punished her with rape.
Worst Jokes Ever
Jack fucked Jill's pussy till it stopped functioning.
What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.
What is the oldest animal in the world?
A zebra—it is black and white.
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.
No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.
$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.
50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.
No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.
Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.
New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.
Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.
Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.
Bully: Your mom gay.
Me: There's something on your chin.
Bully: Where?
Me: No, on your fourth one.
When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.
What's Technoblade's actual Zodiac Sign?
Cancer!
What kind of file turns a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A pedophile.
I gave up hope and I liked it!!
I take meds to feel fantastic! (I kissed a boy{but fed up lyrics})
What do you call a 3 humped camel?
Answer: a prostitute from New York. 😂😭💀
Part 1: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 2: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 3: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.
Part 4: Guess what... two men were walking down the way when the second one fell in the sewers and died... The first one was lonely.
How did Caillou quit his party?
He had to cancel it.
What do you call a terrorist that can fly?
A dart.
Anyone else know that Hitler had only one testicle?
Maybe that's why he killed himself. Bro could never get any bitches!
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer can't explore it!
Comedian: If you’re racist and you know it, clap your hands.
Guy 1 & Guy 2: 👏👏
Comedian: WTF bros!
Comedian: And one of you is black and one is white. How does that work?
Officer: Hi, how high are you?
Pothead: No officer, it's "how are you?"
Officer: Oh, I'm sorry, I've been high since last night.
Pothead: Cool, I'd like to give you some weed, happy 420, sir.
Officer: Omg, thanks man, appreciate that.
If you kill someone, that's murder.
If you kill a family member, that's still murder.
If you kill a child, that's "child abuse."
How do you stop constipation?
You scare the crap outta them.
(Crap is another word for poop.)