What is the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
An iPhone has a button to go home.
Worst Jokes Ever
what's the difference between a dog and a dad? The dog comes back.
"Don't worry! Life goes on."
"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."
Yo mama so fat, when she ordered a water bed they gave her the Pacific Ocean.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
An apple gets picked.
What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?
"Here Comes The Airplane!"
What's the best thing about an abortion joke??
No one gets offended.
Where do otters come from? Otter space.
Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!
Yo mama is so fat and old, when Jesus said "Let there be Light!" he told your mama to move out of the way!
Yo mama is so fat Thanos snapped twice.
A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.
I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't know where home is.
I’d make fun of transgender women, but that’s low hanging fruit.
BIDEN!
Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher. What?
Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.
Teacher. Why water?
Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Why do orphans always have water in their cereal? Because the dad never came back with the milk.
