Worst Jokes Ever
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
How does NASA organize a party?
They planet.
Yo mama so fat, she is 4 feet tall laying down.
Why was the snowman smiling?
Because he saw the snow blower coming down the street.
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.” “I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed.
In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, “OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!”
Straights are ALWAYS asking LGBTQ+ people why they have such GOOD FASHION SENSE. We didn't spend all that time in the closet for nothing, honey ;)
Two nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other, "I'm-a cashew!"
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives!
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in the military?
Special Forces.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno?
Because they take all the green cards.
Roses are red,
I don't know what is brass.
I tell myself,
"Don't touch grass."
What cookies did the orphans never try?
Home made cookies!
What's red, green, and goes 90 miles an hour?
A frog in a blender.
Uranus, ur-anus, your anus. Anus is what's in between your two buttocks.
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.